


thank god for criminal friends

by moonswinger



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Depending on who you ask, Enjolras Being An Idiot, Grantaire being Grantaire, M/M, Montparnasse is a Good Friend, Texting, and, and it's a yOU GUESSED IT A TEXTFIC, hello i'm back with a shitty fic, there is a lot of talk about donuts, this is based off of an insta post i saw a month ago don't judge me, this is mainly just
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-20 18:27:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16142972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonswinger/pseuds/moonswinger
Summary: Montparnasse gets arrested, which is nothing new.Grantaire suddenly finds himself texting the guy who arrested him. Or not. It's all very complicated.And very, very new.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so i saw a post on instagram like a month ago and i can't for the love of me find it anywhere now, so if you happen to see it, know who created it, or anything, please let me know!

**24th Night**

 

[8:55] mont where the fuck are you? i’ve been waiting here for like an hour

[8:55] if you're trying to rip me off, i swear to fucking god

[9:01] _[IMG: A man wearing a police uniform, holding up a donut]_

[9:01] _Hello, your dealer was arrested for possession. Want a donut? They're healthier than weed._

[9:23] what weed? i don't know her

[9:35] fuck you're hot tho, i'll have that donut

[11:00] wait a sec. you're not allowed to read mont’s messages, you don't have a warrant

[11:03] _Who says I don't?_

[11:04] pls i’m like 99% sure

[11:04] and i’m a law student so that counts for something

[11:04] i think

[11:05] _Are you aware your friend has committed several crimes worse than marijuana possession?_

[11:07] he's not my friend

[11:07] or my dealer

[11:08] i swear i was waiting on him for something else

[11:08] honest

[11:09] _Frankly, it's in your best interest if we stop this conversation right here._

[11:10] okay, officer hot shot

[11:30] so when can i get that donut?

[11:32] _When you come into the quarters tomorrow._

[11:34] it's a date

[11:40] _Absolutely not._

[12:00] what's your name?

[12:09] alright, at least give me your number, i don't want to get you into trouble

[12:10] _Your friend has your name saved under R._

[12:10] yep that's me

[12:10] _Just R?_

[12:11] yep

[12:12] _Okay, R._

[12:17] your turn

[12:31] _Enjolras._

[12:32] enjolras, give me your number

[12:34] _I'm not a real cop. I won't get into trouble._

[12:35] you're not a real cop?

[12:44] _Nope._

[12:44] ....

[12:44] then how are you arresting mont????

[12:45] _I'm not. My dad is._

[12:46] okay, i’m confused

[12:46] _I accompany my dad sometimes. He makes me wear the uniform because he's paranoid someone's going to call him out on how “unethical" it is. Whatever. It's fun. And I'm snooping around in your friend's phone because I'm bored._

[12:47] wow

[12:47] won't you get into trouble when your dad finds out you've been flirting with the dealer’s friend?

[12:48] _So he is your friend._

[12:48] who?

[12:49] _I'm not flirting with you._

[12:50] sure

[1:00] _You're not getting my number._

[1:04] :(

 

**25th Noon**

 

[11:00] _so instead of trying to bail me out u flirted with the asshole who stole my phone_

[12:04] good morning to you too mont

[12:04] _oh fuck off_

[12:05] did he look that good in real life???

[12:06] _my night behind bars was absolutely fucking balls I shared it with a dude who looked like he wanted to eat me thank u 4 asking_

[12:06] not what i asked

[12:06] you've literally spent so many nights in there, isn't it like a second home to you???

[12:06] can we come back to my og question

[12:07] _he looked like an asshole_

[12:07] did you get his number?

[12:08] _why the absolute fuck would i do that_

[12:09] because you're my best friend?

[12:09] _oh im ur best friend now_

[12:09] pleassssseee

[12:10] _whats in it for me_

[12:11] uh tacos?

[12:11] _fuck yeah i could eat n entire taco bell rn_

[1:08] _06 22 12 40 28_

[1:09] _bitch u better buy me anything i want_

[1:10] YOU'RE THE BEST I LOVE YOU


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reminder that they live in a very small town

**26th Evening**

 

[6:05] hello apollo

[6:08] **Who is this?**

[6:08] you’ve forgotten me already? you promised me a donut, remember?

[6:10] **How did you get my number?**

[6:11] that’s not important

[6:11] **I knew your friend was up to something. I never should’ve given him my phone.**

[6:12] you willingly gave your phone to a guy who literally spent a night at the station?

[6:12] **He said he needed to make a call and his phone had died. I felt guilty about using up all his battery.**

[6:13] lmao

[6:14] **Shut up. What do you want?**

[6:15] donuts

[6:15] **I told you, you’re welcome to visit the station in the mornings. My dad will be very pleased to give you one.**

[6:16] is your dad the dude who shouts a lot? because ain’t no free donut worth having spit in your face

[6:16] **No. That is Officer Javert.**

[6:16] **How often do you get arrested?**

[6:17] what makes you think i do??????

[6:18] **Your familiarity with Officer Javert. Your choice of friends.**

[6:19] excuse You i am a law abiding civil citizen of this society

[6:19] **So how many times?**

[6:20] it was literally one time and it wasn’t even my fault i fucking swear to gOd

[6:20] **What did you do?**

[6:21] ok first of all, i didn’t do anything

[6:21] second of all, mrs hugo hates me and would frame me for murder if she could

[6:21] these are the facts that you need to know

[6:22] **What did you do, R?**

[6:22] i stole her dog and painted her house green when she was out of town

[6:23] **Wait a minute.**

[6:23] **You’re that kid?**

[6:24] i didn’t know i was famous

[6:25] **Oh my god. This is hilarious.**  

[6:25] **Why did you do it?**

[6:26] she said she hated green

[6:26] i was going through a green phase

[6:26] **And the dog?**

[6:26] she didn’t deserve that dog

[6:27] i mean, come on who leaves their dog behind when they go on a month long trip to barbados?

[6:30] apollo?

[6:49] what, did my criminal record scare you off?

[6:50] come on i was like 16

[9:03] **Hello, sorry. My friend came over because he was having a crisis and then we had to rush to our meeting.**

[9:04] **Your criminal record is very impressive, but it can’t scare me. I have one that is longer.**

[9:04] **And also, how old are you now?**

[9:24] wait i have so many questions

[9:24] a) meeting??? b) longer???? c) i’m 20 dude

[9:25] **You don’t look 20.**

[9:26] ...when did you see me?

[9:27] **Your friend had saved a contact pic.**

[9:27] oh right

[9:27] was it the one where i’m wearing two hats?

[9:28] **Yep.**

[9:29] is it too late to say that wasn’t me

[9:29] **Yep.**

[9:30] **It was cute.**

[9:39] ????????

[9:42] **To answer your questions: a) I’m part of a student political group called the ABC and we have two weekly meetings b) I’ve been arrested several times for starting protests**

[9:50] my god don’t tell me you’re one of those rich white dudes who start dumb protests every week and block my only way to the trains in the goddamn morning

[9:50] **Excuse me?**

[9:51] **I’m the co-founder of that group.**

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> & they're off to a very good start

**Author's Note:**

> does it seem a little ooc? what do you think about it so far? let me know in the comments!


End file.
